Growing up in abject poverty was hard. I am blessed to have made it out of Philadelphia alive. Some of my family members and friends did not make it to the age of twenty-seven. As I mentioned earlier, my brother Charles Washington, one year my junior, went to prison for attempted murder my first year at Bowdoin College. He finished his sentence, but as of this writing he is back in the system.

It blows my mind that we are only one year apart and grew up in the same household yet ended up on such different paths. This has made me ask myself tough questions: “How did our parents and community fail or help us?” “Does the most blame lie with institutions in the community, or my parents, or both?” “What went wrong or right?” “Are there any practical solutions to help children who grew up in similar situations?” “Am I an anomaly? Did I get lucky?”

I still can’t believe Lindell Swinson, the father of three of my sister’s children, killed Sysha, who was only twenty-six and had a bright future. Losing her when I was a rising college senior devastated me, and her death forever changed the lives of some of my family members. Some went into a deep depression and started self-medicating. Others lost hope, attempting to eat and drink their pain away.

Losing both of my biological parents in 2011 devastated me. Two years later, Father Charles’s passing was another blow. Additionally, there was Derrick getting shot in the face and my appendix rupturing. Why? I could not fully understand why every time I took a step forward another hardship hit me.

My two living sisters have unhealthy addictions, one to gambling and the other to drugs, while several of my nieces and nephews have been in and out of prison, birthing multiple children at very young ages. At times, I felt like I was fighting for my life, working hard to strive in this ultracompetitive world while dealing with family issues.

Right now, Mom Dukes is my only living parent and has showered me with love, helping me raise Sysha’s children and build a real estate empire, showing the world what true, unconditional love looks like. Long ago, she went from being Mrs. Joann Robinson to Mom Dukes, a mom and very close person in my life.

I go to Catholic church with Mom Dukes though I’m not Catholic because I want to express my love for her through my actions; some Sundays, I’m so tired as I sit by her side for eight a.m. Mass. But my philosophy: Sometimes, we have to put personal needs last and others’ first and treat people better than how we want them to treat us.

How is it that I went from under-resourced schools in Philadelphia to elite colleges and Wall Street? I owe it to my community and stress that I am community made not self-made. When I say “community,” I mean all the people I have added to my world as I progressed through my journey. Some of these are people who put their personal needs last and my needs first.

My community consists of my family members, teachers, professors, mentors, sponsors, and close friends from all classes and many races and backgrounds. These people poured their faith into me, prayed over me, financially supported me, and invested in me in other ways. They taught me how to comport myself as a professional and groomed me for greatness.

No one can rush excellence. Father Charles used to bring home penny candy for only one child and made the others wait to receive theirs. Why? So they could learn about the power of delayed gratification, how to cheer others on, and how to share. I wanted to be the one getting the candy, but then I learned to be patient, thinking about what I would do with my bag of treats. In the meantime, I built a rapport with my siblings so they would, hopefully, share some of their gift with me. I also told them, “You better enjoy your turn because I’m up next.”

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