It can be hard to know what you should say to someone who is grieving. After all, you want to comfort them, not add to their pain.
Kim Davies-Robinet, a psychologist at Aurora Health Care, says there are ways to express concern and be there for a person in your life who needs support. But it’s important to realize that you can’t heal their grief with words, but you can provide comfort.
“It’s important to keep in mind that you shouldn’t be afraid to talk about the loss and acknowledge you are thinking about them,” Davies-Robinet says. “Try to avoid using cliches or platitudes. Also, avoid using phrases focused on moving on.”
Other examples of what NOT to say:
- “Everything happens for a reason.”
- “I can’t imagine what you’re going through.”
- “Time heals all wounds.”
- “At least they’re in a better place.”
- “At least they’re no longer suffering.”
Instead, Davies-Robinet recommends:
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Each issue of Port of Harlem we list some of the most recently deceased on the “Activities” page under In Memoriam. If you have someone you want us to include that past in the past 30 days, please send their name to
publisher@portofharlem.net.
