Feature

Wedding Bell Bliss
By Olivia Garrett

Asmara Sium and Ken Blagburn share wedding vows in a ceremony that integrated African-American and Eritrean traditions May 29, 2005 in Washington, D.C. Blagburn is the son of POH editor Ann Chinn and Charles Cobb of Jacksonville, FL. Photograph by the late Harlee Little. Article appeared in the February - April 2006 print issue. Click the cover (left) for the cover story.

Well, he finally popped the question! The question for you now becomes how do you make your day personal and memorable. The tips below will give you the head start you need to make your day enjoyable.

Set “Wedding Talk” Time
The most important thing I can share with you is that you must set dates and times to discuss your wedding plans.  However, make sure you don’t wear out your fiancé with constant “Wedding Talk.”  If you want to discuss which shade of pink you want your bridesmaids to wear, your maid of honor or your best friend are great alternates between your meetings with your groom.  I suggest that you meet once a month until three months from your wedding date and then twice a month to finalize any last minute details. 

Set a Budget
I know you have seen many beautiful weddings and have said to yourself,  “When I get married, I want to have lights that drape from the ceiling and cascade down toward the altar, change colors, and flash to the beat of the music!” Sounds dramatic, right?  However, you have to look at what you can realistically afford to spend on each part of your wedding. You have to live afterwards and make sure you’re not paying for your wedding and kids’ college tuition at the same time.


Make the Wedding Day Your Own
You will receive a lot of alternate plans and suggestions. Stick with what you have discussed with your groom during your “Wedding Talk” time. If you remember this simple sentence, "That’s a good suggestion, but (insert your fiance’s name here) and I have already set everything we want for our day, but thanks anyway,” it will make your life so much easier and is a very nice way to let Aunt Mary Sue know that turquoise is her favorite color and not yours.

Keep people out of your day as much as possible. You aren’t obligated to share your wedding plans with anyone.  The less you share, the more likely you will be able to stick to your original plan and budget.  People have a lot of suggestions but very little money to accompany them.

Relax
Try to stick to your regular schedule and remember to have fun, this is your wedding day and planning it should be as stress free as possible.  Turn off your cell phone a few days before the wedding or if you can’t bear to be “phoneless” (if that is a word) make sure it is off at least on your big day. Inform your bridal party at the rehearsal that callers must forward their questions to your wedding coordinator.

Hire a Wedding Professional

There are so many things that a professional wedding coordinator can do for you that will reduce your stress level.  Here are a few:  plan a spa day for the girls; book locations, quality vendors, accommodations and transportation for out-of-town guest; schedule and attend appointments; and conduct the wedding rehearsal, ceremony, and reception. It is worth it to add the cost of a wedding coordinator to your budget. 

Remember all weddings go well, but none are perfect.  Expect things not to flow as nicely as you would like.  You have reached your ultimate goal.  You’ve married the love of your life!



Olivia Garrett, owner Flawless Weddings and Events, has been coordinating weddings since 1990.  Reach Garrett at 410-440-3632 or talk with her during Port of Harlem’s Defining Moments:  Wedding Bell Bliss, an afternoon of wedding planning tips.